The Purpose Of Step 4 Is To Help You Start Creating Your New Story.
It will be impossible to rebuild your inner life while living in a story that no longer exists.
List Of Action Steps - Click To View Each One
How I Started Creating My New Story
Step Four – You Are NOT This Old Story – It’s Time To Write A New One!
As you start to get used to carrying around the weight of the loss of your Loved One, you realize that your “life before loss” will never return. You can’t go back, but you also can’t go forward… with those old plans and dreams.
Totally crushed by this realization, I came face to face with what I call my Decision Point.
I felt like I had 3 choices:
- stop the clock, forever tapping replay on every memory of my life up to that point of loss
- give up, give in & fade away, letting the clock simply run out until I too am gone
- or, I could get a new improved clock, honoring my Loved Ones by rebuilding my inner life, & dreaming new dreams.
I Decided To Rebuild My Inner Life.
My decision point arrived at about one year into grieving my husband for a year and my son for 4. While taking a life coaching class, an instructor posed this statement to our class, "You are NOT your story," For days, I was so bothered by that statement, it was shaking things loose in the back of my mind. "Are you your story?" "Well, of course I am", I thought to myself. Who else could I be? And if this were not true, then who was I... or more importantly, who could I be, or become? This moved to the front of my mind and a week or so later I had a EUREKA type moment.
The Eureka moment was when I realized that I was NOT my current story,. I realized that this right here was the first step in starting over. It was also from a great place of strength and power. Using myself as an example, I am more than the mother, wife, daughter, sister or aunt of my 6 deceased loved ones. I was still and am a living, vibrant contributor to the world at large AND to myself in particular. And the next step in rebuilding my inner life was to remember this! I needed to close this chapter and write a new one. For the 1st time in my life, I cried for ME. I cried for that lovely person I had been as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and aunt. I cried for the very loss of my own self as I had cried for those that I had lost. And as my tears dried, I laughed deep belly laughs in anticipation of taking all the great parts of old me into a chapter of the new me. And I know my 6 loved ones were cheering me on from the other side!
Action 1: At Your Decision Point, What Will Your Choice Be?
This will be a very private, personal decision that will be honored by myself and all others within this Community. To proceed with the remaining Action Steps, this decision must already be made by you. Reach out to me for a private coaching session if you would like help making this decision. And please know that everyone reaches decision points in THEIR time, and that will be perfect for you!
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I Created A Way To Do It For Myself - And It Worked!
Now I Want To Share It With You.
Let's Start Here:
In great excitement, I wrote out a plan and instructions for myself, finetuning it as I experimented. Later on it became Step 4 of my signature workshops in "Rebuilding Your Inner Life After Loss". It is Step 4 NOT Step 1, because I wouldn't have been ready for this immediately after their losses. If you find that you ARE ready, don't worry about the number, just jump in with full energy and anticipation and get started!
In the first few years, I told the story of my loss over and over and over again.
At first, I had to tell:
- their loved ones, friends & business associates,
- those involved in their legal, financial and business lives.
Then I told it to myself as a way to:
- remember them out loud,
- remind myself that they had not been a figment of my imagination.
Then, I told the story:
- to hide behind it,
- to use it as a crutch,
- to shield me from life in general.
Now, I Share Bits Of Our Story, to Show You How To Take This 3rd Step
In Rebuilding Your Inner Life After The Loss Of Your Loved One.
There Is Only One Thing Left To Do!
Take Action #3:
Go To The Weekly Digest Page On This Website.
- Select the best way that you receive information, as in:
- YouTube-Video, Spotify-Audio, or Site Blog-written,
- Scroll down to the Step 4 Playlist in your chosen column,
- Review/Select each of the links in that playlist for background material,
- Do the work with Assignment #1-5
As I share in Assignment 1, originally I designed this as an online group or private workshop. But due to the frenzied, crazy world we are currently living in, I decided to make this information as readily accessible for everyone as is possible. I also decided that this is so important to those of us that are rebuilding our inner lives after loss, that I made it FREE. However, the time to create, assemble, market and present this to you was not free. So, do me a favor by not allowing this price tag to devalue the benefit that you will receive from it. My thanks in advance!
Also, I create this content for each channel once a month, so in the beginning, you will have to wait for the next work assignment. Bummer, if you are hot to go on the assignment, great in that it gives you time to think it through and spend quality time with it!
If you find yourself needing my feedback, please go to the "Our Place" Community Events page and sign up for one of these. You can ask for assistance during your allotted time for "sharing". I highly recommend this step anyway, as there is nothing better than hanging out with people who feel your pain and are actively forging ahead anyway!
If you decide that you want to consult with me privately for these assignments, please go to my private coaching page to book/pay for your sessions.
My thanks in advance, and as always, I wish you love, peace, hope and inspiration!